August 25, 2011

Are you worth it?

Recently a friend met someone who is turning out to be quite the keeper. This conversation about her date with some dude confirmed it:

“He’s in Austin this weekend and invited me.”


“Yeah, the ticket was expensive.”

“Did you pay for it?”

“What? Of course not.”

Self worth is knowing you’re worth it. You’re worth the expensive ticket. A solid friendship. An equal partner. Compliments. A night on the town. Quality time together. Ruby red slippers. You deserve that new car smell. A vacation. Triple layer chocolate fudge pie. 300-thread count Egyptian cotton sheets.

Self worth is knowing you're better than Milwaukee's Best.

Most of my life I’ve neglected myself in order to please or impress others. I want you to like me, so I will jump through hoops of fire to ensure this happens. It’s pretty exhausting. And dangerous. Especially when doused in booze.

The tipping point for this self-deprecating behavior was many years ago when I paid for my own engagement ring with my credit card. My fear of not getting what I wanted caused me to get exactly what I deserved. He paid me back, but by the time the payments were finished, he was already gone.

When we settle for nonsense, we block ourselves from reaching our full potential. We don’t get back those wasted hours, days, months, years or decades. Loving ourselves enough to stand up for what we believe is the greatest gift we can experience.

Sure, it’s painful and sometimes lonely, but what is the alternative? Paying for your own engagement ring? Waking up in a dead-end job? Coming to in the backseat of your car, wondering what the fuck that joint was laced with?

Below are key principles I’ve learned to follow, and see in my most admirable friends and colleagues:

• Don’t settle for less
• The people you surround yourself with are a reflection of you
• If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything
• Put down your fucking phone
• Spend quality time with others… without your fucking phone
• Wear clean underwear – always
• Smile from the inside
• Laugh at yourself – always
• Leave work at work
• You get what you pay for (hookers included)
• Go where the love is (hookers included)
• Always do a courtesy flush in a public restroom (especially at work!!!)

Keep writing. It saves lives.